Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior’s world.
— Pema Chödrön
I've been rambling on paper again, picking up the Logbook at all hours to scribble thoughts into it, to jot in neat lists anything that demands to be put down or that interferes with clarity of mind. Focusing on one thing at a time is something I am having to re-train my brain to do, since for so long I have been teaching it the opposite: to take in everything at once with no discrimination between what should be having attention and what is inconsequential. Lists help that. Lists help with a lot of things, from assuring preservation of a fleeting idea that might have otherwise been lost forever in some unnoticed chink of the brain to creating the shape of a day and keeping memories intact, and amidst the pages of rambling in longhand there are dozens of short lists, some sloppily scrawled and blotted with ink and some lettered with painstaking precision, all holding fragments of that vague experience referred to as life. They serve as a reckoning point, a place where the small mundane activities of quotidian existence are acknowledged and appreciated.
Lessons of the Week
in no particular order
some re-learned and some acknowledged for the first time
... I can keep walking; I can also keep living.
... I can't decide how my body and emotions react to circumstances over which I have no control, but I can decide to show up and do my best to enable them to react well regardless of those circumstances.
... I can also choose how to respond to the way my body and emotions react, and it is almost always a good idea to go light on the self-inflicted guilt and heavy on the rest and the fruit and the tea.
... writing helps. it helps a lot. so does walking, and sneakers and macadam become addicting just like the feel of the pen sliding across the page.
... there is no reason to apologise for using standard English spelling or listening to an unpopular form of music that I like or painting your nails black just because or being unashamedly human. there is no reason to apologise for tears (not even to myself).
... procrastinating writing notes to loved ones who are waiting for them is unacceptable; those people are far more important than any lingering personal reticence.
... milk is not a necessity even if giving it up for several weeks feels like deprivation.
... soy-based lattes are even tastier than dairy-based ones.
A Random Assortment of Small Things
for which I am thankful
hot tea with honey
burning candles
soft couch cushions against my aching back
books stacked neatly anywhere
emails from sisters, messages from friends
birdsong at night
rain falling
Goals for the Remainder of the Week
goals which may not be accomplished
and that is okay
finish Shadow's birthday gift
read from stack of library books
write feedback for girls' research papers
catch up on kanji reviews
play Portal
make caramel snickerdoodle bars for the first time
make Saturday's dinner
mail letters
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