Four Things That Do Not Make You a Writer

[[A few jottings from the wee hours, saved in November and forgotten until now.]]


Shameless procrastination has reduced me to browsing the NaNoWriMo forums at two in the morning, skimming pointlessly-opened threads in lieu of wrestling with the contents of that first draft document that I would really rather pretend does not exist at this point in time. While I intended the forums to serve as a quick break before unwinding and going to bed, my plan were derailed as I clicked thread after thread, and by the time I opened "You know you're a writer when..." I was experiencing full-blown denial. All one needs to do in order to comprehend the truth of the accusation that writing has become a social fad is read through the NaNo boards, an act which can only lead to the crushing conclusion that the art of writing has indeed been reduced to a level so trivial that it can no longer be called an art, and must be categorised either as psychiatric therapy or happy-go-lucky dumping of word and fantasy for the purpose of impressing the world with self-perceived personal genius. At last I understand the state to which the role of writer has been diminished.

While many posts proved riling, none raised ire quite so much as the flippant comments on the "You know you're a writer when..." thread, and it is in response to some of the statements made there that I am rambling at this hour of the night.


•You talk about your novel constantly.
•You are angry when the people you talk to do not listen to you blabber about said novel.
                    ~ brambleclaw33

...when you tell everyone about your writings, not caring if they care or not.
                    ~ carmensakura07

To insist that writers speak incessantly of what they are writing, or have written, or plan to write, is to keep alive a significant misconception. If writing a novel is simply a platform for having one more thing regarding which to gab to the world at large, it is unlikely that writing is actually being done, or, if it is occurring, that it is producing anything of worth. "When you’re socially awkward," writes Criss Jami, "you’re isolated more than usual, and when you’re isolated more than usual, your creativity is less compromised by what has already been said and done. All your hope in life starts to depend on your craft, so you try to perfect it. One reason I stay isolated more than the average person is to keep my creativity as fierce as possible. Being the odd one out may have its temporary disadvantages, but more importantly, it has its permanent advantages." Novels are not found in an excess of chatter, but in the silent occupation of writing, and the dedication of revision.

Art as a whole involves a rich internal life, which is not fed by continual logorrhea; one may be guilty of prolixity, but it is unlikely that incessant rambling regarding a current project, to anyone and everyone who will listen and even to those who won't, is going to promote the inner environment necessary for truly artistic writing. For a writer, perhaps even more so than those less introspectively inclined, it is essential to have a life rich with experience. I do not care to ramble incessantly about my writing projects to those around me; instead, I watch them, learning from their habits and thought patterns and manners of speech in order to better know how to write of humanity. Instead of making my observations on life continually known to anyone within earshot, I live life, and retire in secrecy to put my findings onto paper. Writing is cathartic, self-developing, at once a way of coping with and understanding the world around me and the thoughts within me. Prattling to random friends and acquaintances about an intensely personal and occasionally even embarrassing process is more likely to freeze my pen than loosen it. I draw from life to write, and do not subtract from my writing in order to use it to create for myself a life.


•you ask your friends if they mind being in a book.
                    ~ SciWri

While the concept of being able to wreak vengeance on insulting persons by writing them into your novels and subsequently killing them is a charming one, this is not necessarily a trademark of the guild. As a joke, it works. As a reality, not so much. Writers will indubitably glean from their experiences, but just because they are crafting stories does not mean everyone and their mother's uncle is going to feature in the plot as a prominent and idiosyncratic character.



•you put all homeowkr on all to browse the nanowrimo forums.
                    ~ SciWri

Aha, nice try; NO. This is called a predilection for social networking. While an internet social life can be satisfyingly scintillant and intellectually beneficial, and a writer's main source of empathetic friendship, there is nothing regarding internet activity or message boards that has inherently to do with being a writer. In fact, it is likely that, the more time engaged online, the less time will be devoted towards the act of writing itself, which means that forums are actually detracting from "being a writer".

There is also such a thing — the awareness of which is generally promoted among writers, even more so than within the general public — called spelling.


you can't work with an empty coffee cup.
                    ~ cygwriter

Since when did caffeine addiction become a defining characteristic of a life? Medical students and professionals on rotation in the harsh environment of hospitals and their murderously-long shifts often consume copious amounts of coffee. Any number of people rely upon coffee to stimulate their brains in the morning, before they head to work, and there are plenty of talented, successful writers, even professionals, who do not need caffeine to function.



Fortunately, not all of the posts on that thread reflected the same trivial perspective of writing and art as the above comments. The following, between themselves, reflect both the humourous aspects of the craft and the fundamental reality of what it means to be a writer.


When you are 50 years old and you go off to write, and your 75 year old mother smiles and says, "Going off to be with your invisible friends, eh."

~ EmSaidSo


You mix up your love life with your protagonist's.

"How was your date on Friday?"

"Oh, awesome! My brother decapitated my boyfriend and now I'm betrothed to a wealthy count's son."

"Um...I thought you went to the mall."

~ Caterpillarstar


As ever, there's a simple rule to measure writers, no matter how many amusing and odd eccentricities a given example may exhibit:

Writers write.

Writers who want to be published write to completion and then edit the suck out of the story.

Really, that's it.

~ Kassil